Despite the assertion, in the memorable song from Casablanca that ‘A kiss is just a kiss’ it seems, according to Andy Cope, that a kiss is a lot more than just a kiss.
July 6 is International Kissing Day (and yeah, yeah, whatever you’re thinking, we probably agree with you!)
To mark the day, ‘Happiness Guru’ Andy Cope tells us all about kissing. Or as he puts it, he offers us a basic introduction to ‘the most important science you’ve never heard of, Philematology, the study of kissing.’
Andy has been studying the science behind happiness and well-being for 10 years. He is completing a PhD on the subject so is well on his way to becoming the UK’s first ‘Doctor of Happiness.” His current book is ‘The Little Book of Emotional Intelligence’. He is also the author of the best-selling children’s book series Spy Dog and The Art Of Being Brilliant.
“As a happiness researcher, I’m well versed in the science of well-being, joy and love and how humans flourish. But the specifics of kissing are hard to find. Indeed, academics can’t even agree on what a kiss is. Is it a peck, a continental double-cheeker (or sometimes a treble-cheeker) or a tongue-twisting Frenchie? I’m not going to specify the obviousness of matching the right kiss to the right person and in the right situation – you know all that stuff.
Have you ever stopped to wonder why we kiss? I’m not talking a ‘mwah-mwah’ air-kiss here, but lip-on-lip action, sometimes involving tongues and a swapping of saliva? Expressed that way, it does sound a bit odd, if not a little unhygienic?
If we trace kissing back through the ages it appears to have started out as a smelling activity with scriptures from 1500BCE describing kissing as ‘a sniff’. Indeed, Inuit people still prefer to rub noses.
Continuing on a historic theme, long before there were blenders or baby-foods, mothers would chew food before passing it directly into their baby’s mouth. Maybe that was a sort of slightly gross early kiss?
And here’s an interesting fact from the Middle Ages: an illiterate person could seal a contract by kissing the parchment, hence the literal meaning of the phrase ‘sealed with a kiss’.
My lazy Wiki-research, which tells me that Thomas Edison pretty much invented cinema, also tells me he showed the first cinematic kiss. I’ve seen it and, gosh, it’s pretty tame by today’s standards. But this was 1896, during the reign of Victoria, an era when both ‘spoonin’ (which meant kissing outdoors) and ‘sparkin’ (kissing indoors ; yes, they had a name for both!) were frowned upon.
Suffice to say, the kissing film was the Victorian equivalent of Frankie’s ‘Relax’ and was banned from many theatres.
Kissing is, of course, about love and affection, but it seems to be about much more, too. It raises your heart and metabolic rate, so is good for your general health.
Factor in smell, touch and taste and a kiss becomes an exchange of sensory and biological information. Studies have shown that women select long-term mates who have different immune systems to themselves, so it could be that kissing acts as a sort of subliminal compatibility test.
Human lips are everted (meaning they are exposed outwards), making them a focal point of the face. Women paint their lips to make them more attractive, a ritual that’s become part of the mating process.
Factor in that the skin of the lips is very nerve-rich and that, consequently, lip-on-lip action sends a whoosh of signals and chemicals to the brain (including the happy chemical serotonin and the feel-good chemical, dopamine, the same one that’s released when you take cocaine) and kissing begins to make evolutionary sense.
But not everyone likes it let alone gets addicted; spare a thought for the philemaphobics, those with a fear of kissing.
On reflection, I can’t help thinking they’re missing out because having studied happiness for 12 years, I’ve realised that you don’t need a PhD in anything to understand that kissing is great. If you do it right, it’s good for both parties.
And I’d bet my last 50p that you can remember your first kiss?
International Kissing Day gives you an excuse to kiss someone you love (though do be sure he or she loves you back prior to launching yourself!). My advice is to consider making it a double-whammy by telling them it’s national hugging day, too. That’s a white lie, but if they’re open to the kiss, they’ll welcome the hug.
Bon appetit!
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